Sucker Punch Review

Ladies and Gentleman. I am not going to waste anyones time. Zack Snyder already wasted mine. Sucker Punch is a terrible movie. The worst of 2011 so far, yes even worse than Battle: LA. I won't be surprised if this film cleans up at the Razzies next year. Sure the special effects look impressive, but there isn't a story and the characters are blank canvases. Well, except for Oscar Isaac who is deliciously evil and very entertaining as Blue. But apart from him, there is no merit to this film.

An original idea from the "Visionary Mind" of Zach Snyder. Yeah, am sick of seeing that moniker on every trailer for all of his films. He made 300 and became a visionary. If anything, Watchmen is a better film than 300. So that would make him legendary right? Yes I'm confused too. After sitting through Sucker Punch, I think his trailer's should say "From The Toilet Bowl Of A Visionary Mind That Is Zach Synder". Zach Snyder's Sucker Punch follows Baby Doll played by Emily Browning who is sent to an insane asylum after being blamed for her sister's death. She arrives and immediately deviates into the first fantasy world the audience encounter. A brothel owned by the mob. Her and her dancer friends Sweet Pea (Abbie Cornish), Jenna Malone (Rocket), Vanessa Hudgens (Blondie) and Amber (Jamie Chung) have to dance for clients of the brothel. Baby Doll decides to break out and enlists her stupidly named com-padres for the journey. She then drops into a second fantasy world were she meets The Wise Man (Scott Glenn) who advises her to find five objects, the fifth being unknown.

So Baby Doll and the rest of the gang set out on a pointless and very often banal journey. The moments in the brothel are cringe worthy and the missions (which are fun as individual short films) have no creativity. They seem to have been stolen from nearly every part of geek culture. There's a WWII battle sequence in which they fight steam punk zombies. COD's Nazi Zombies anyone? There's a castle siege robbed straight from The Two Towers. The things they battle are basically Orcs! Then there is a train sequence straight from Final Fantasy XIII. Oh and the steampunk zombies look like Helghast from the Killzone franchise. Snyder must be a gamer. Cause this film feels like a video game. Each mission feels like a level from "The Greatest Game A Nerd Ever Wanted". Now that's not a compliment to the film. Am just saying if it was on 360, I'd play it.

In Snyder's Watchmen movie. The music was awesome. You had Bob Dylan, Jimi Hendrix and Simon And Garfunkel. Great songs, but they also fitted very well with the images on screen. In Sucker Punch, Snyder seems to make a series of god awful music videos. I promise you, you will sink into your chair and want to either laugh or leave. Don't leave, you wasted your money (Like I did, Fuck You Snyder!) stay and have a good laugh. They are also very pointless, in moments were Snyder could be building interesting character development he decides to show characters plodding through there day in slow motion.

The biggest problem with this film is the sexist pig view it has of women. Sucker Punch makes Transformers look like its brimmed full on Feminist attitude! Zach Snyder gets a cast of beautiful young females, dresses them up as sluts then makes them fight in video game like worlds. According to Snyder, the film shows female empowerment. No! Films like Aliens and Terminator prove that a strong female characters don't have to dress in school girl costumes to empower themselves. The film has a creepy view of women and I felt uncomfortable watching. It feels like Snyder wanted his sickest fantasy on screen he wanted hot insane women dressed up all slutty fighting steam punk zombies, dragons and robots! Oh and the most surprising thing is his wife produced it. I'm dumbstruck by how she didn't feel this sent back women's rights forty years.

Sucker Punch could of been an interesting film. If Snyder wouldn't of written the script and the story would of been evident. The visuals are impressive, but you can't help but think that Warner Brothers have wasted nearly one hundred million dollars on this massive pile of nonsense. Am I worried about Superman? No, he isn't writing it. His visual style should be great with the Man Of Steel. But for now, we will have to settle with the terrible and pointless Sucker Punch.

4/10

By Chris Disley